Lunch with an apologist blogger and the choices we make

Richard Bushman probably knows more historical information about Joseph Smith than Hans Mattsson, the emiritus 70 who recently gave an interview with the New York Times expressing doubts about the church. He certainly knows more than me. And yet I side with Mattson in feeling concern and discomfort, to the point of a level of disenfranchisement. What separates Bushman from Mattsson or me? Is it only a longer list of facts?

It's a fair question and one I've asked myself several times.

 I had lunch with a fairly well-known "blogging apologist" recently and asked him if there was anything that he thought could break his testimony. Any undiscovered piece of evidence?

He didn't answer directly but admitted there were things from church history that had no good answer and bothered him deeply. "For example, when I get to the other side I'll have some serious questions about the practice of polygamy," he said "I wouldn't be surprised if Joseph offers his apologies for some gross errors of judgement in implementing it. Or maybe in it being needed at all."

He paused in thought and then continued: "But I don't let that drive me out of the church for two reasons: first, there is simply too much evidence for the historicity of the Book of Mormon for me. It more than counters the possible errors of human leaders to consider this all to be one big fabrication.

Second, I wouldn't want my wife to leave me because of my weaknesses and I wouldn't leave her for the few she has. Why should I leave the church because I find weaknesses in it? I'm not looking for something perfect.

The church is like a friend and I love being a member of it. If I left I would feel like I was stabbing it in the back."

I accept that in the end, with access the same resources, we make a choice. I don't accept that if everyone has the same information as Bushman that they would all stay (or become) Mormon. They would also need to share the same attitude and faith choices.

The historical information available to us, limited by the dichotomy of time, leaves us all with a choice based on spiritual experiences and faith.

I believe Elder Mattsson is sincere when he says he has gone through that process and appears to have reached a different conclusion to Elder Holland or Richard Bushman. One that he feels God is pleased with. I hope people will accept that I am also sincere when I say the same.