While on holiday in July I reread parts of the neuroscience book on how meditative or religious-type experience effects your brain.
Meditating on a specific central idea or concept is good for brain health. There is a specific neurological circuit in the brain, the anterior cingulate, that is connected to empathy, compassion and peacefulness. Brain scanning has shown that the anterior cingulate can strengthened and activated by contemplative practices. This also quietens activity in the "fight or flight" (limbic) parts of the brain.
Last time, I described how a topic on fathers and fatherhood had initially triggered a negative emotional reaction. A trigger of negativity and initial anger. I had described how the group experience made it feel like the listening and sharing had made room for compassion and empathy. Having reminded myself of the neuroscience tenets, that's literally what's happening.
I have reflected on why the circle counsel has been so effective. I suppose, in my nervousness of religious practice and reluctance to move from a mormon "frying pan" to a new ageism "fire," I've been cautious about letting my guard down.
Reading the book gave me the reassurance that I could rationalise a science to the experience.
There are many aspects to why it works. We start the group with a form of meditation. Smudging, for some in the group, holds deeper spiritual significance. For me, I allow it to be the mental curtain between the day and the moment. I let the incense represent a sweeping away of any work or personal concerns. I clear my mind and allow it to relax. Although called a counsel, 80-90% of the evening is spent listening. By listening from the heart, but with no thought or intent to respond, the mind is again in a resting, contemplative state.
Usually, when we're in a group discussion, like a family gathering or group of people at a social event, there's a tendency to "listen to respond" or even "listen to debate/interupt/contradict." Instead of listening for the simple sake of listening.
I think that by trying hard to not think about response or to prepare my own answer, the conscious mind is able to by in a meditative state, but still subconsciously process and respond to the topics and thoughts of the others in the room. It feels like an active form of meditation on a topic.
This week, the subject was around the topic of work and finances. One person had requested the topic, with a specific concern around uncertainty of financial stability and how work becomes a defining aspect ones identity.
I felt full of admiration for the way that others in the group had turned their passions into employment. As one person put it: "I want to do work that will make my heart sing." When I spoke, I shared the former drive to by financially successful. I sought validation in my earning power. I shared the experience of being mentally ill in 2014, largely through work (though religious transition also played a part). I reflected on the week of sick leave I had taken and the decision to look for work that would give me a different life-pace.
I decided that from then on, when asked "what do you do," that I wanted the answer to be full of hobbies and family experiences. What do I do? I write! I sing! I enjoy football with one son, book games or astronomy with the other, drama with my daughter. I enjoy exploring world culture and heritage with my wife and children. Oh... you mean my job? My job is the financial facilitator that enables what I passionately do.
I felt a renewed peace with that focus. I am incredibly fortunate to have a job that is well-paid, reasonably satisfying and also not too demanding in hours and emotional attention.
One person commented that, in his work choices, he followed his heart and trusted that "the universe provides." Whatever the influence or role of the universe in where I am, I'm grateful that I've been able to follow that aspect of my heart... (or, in reality, frontal cortex!!)
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