All are alike unto God - finding unity in diversity

When Samuel was asked to go and anoint the future king from among Jesse’s sons he looked at them and made certain assumptions. (Sam 16:7) “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature… for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

Sister Chieko Okazaki was first counselor on the Relief Society General Presidency during the 1990s. In one talk in 1992 she said: 

“I’d like to teach you an important Japanese word. It’s kigatsuku.  

Kigatsuku means “an inner spirit to act without being told what to do.” …When I was just a little girl, my mother began teaching me to be kigatsuku. When she swept the floor, she would say, “Chieko, what would a kigatsuku girl do now?” Then I’d run and get the dustpan…  

(W)e can do great good when we act as an organized group… we can do great good when we act in small, informal groups… (and) we can do great good on our own—just as individuals who care enough to serve… It is the desire in individual hearts that powers not only small, individual acts of service, but also the great acts that become mass movements and even revolutions. You have that power, too.  

Are you sitting on a mat or on a polished bench? Are you wearing a sari or a three-piece suit? Are you hearing me in English or in Tagalog? It doesn’t matter. Hear the words of my heart. Feel the power that can come from your own desire to do good!

There are many ways to serve. Today I would like to talk on the service of acceptance, respect and fellowship:

In the October 2013 General Conference, Elder Gérald Caussé said:

The world in which we live is going through a period of great upheaval. Because of the increased availability of transportation, speed of communication, and globalization of economies, the earth is becoming one large village where people and nations meet, connect, and intermingle like never before… 

It is very likely that the next person converted to the gospel in your ward will be someone who does not come from your usual circle of friends and acquaintances. You may note this by his or her appearance, language, manner of dress, or color of skin. This person may have grown up in another religion, with a different background or a different lifestyle.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke, in April 2008, of some people who stop attending church because they don’t feel like they have a place or fit in.

Some are lost because they are different. They feel as though they don’t belong. 

Perhaps because they are different, they find themselves slipping away from the flock. They may look, act, think, and speak differently than those around them and that sometimes causes them to assume they don’t fit in. They conclude that they are not needed.  

Tied to this misconception is the erroneous belief that all members of the Church should look, talk, and be alike. The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father’s children are different in some degree, yet each has his (or her) own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole.  

This variety of creation itself is a testament of how the Lord values all His children. He does not esteem one flesh above another, but He “inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … all are alike unto God.”

Elder Uchtdorf has spoken many times about the importance of respecting each other and accepting one another. Perhaps he does so because he understands, because of his background and upbringing, what it feels like to be the outsider, the one who is being side-lined.

In April 2010 he said: 

“Unfortunately, from time to time we also hear of Church members who become discouraged and subsequently quit coming to and participating in our Church meetings because they think they don’t fit in.”

As a refugee from East Germany moving to West Germany after the second world war he was very aware of being different. He says:

When I was a young boy, during the aftermath of World War II, Germany was broken and in ruins. Many people were hungry, sick, and dying. I remember well the humanitarian shipments of food and clothing that came from the Church in Salt Lake City. To this day, I can still remember the smell of the clothing, and I can still taste the sweetness of the canned peaches.
There were some who joined the Church because of the goods they received at that time. Some members looked down on these new converts. They even called them an offensive name: Büchsen Mormonen, or “Canned-Food Mormons.” They resented these new members because they believed that once their temporal needs had been met, they would fall away.
While some did leave, many stayed—they came to church, tasted the sweetness of the gospel, and felt the tender embrace of caring brothers and sisters. They discovered “home.” And now, three and four generations later, many families trace their Church membership back to these converts.
I hope that we welcome and love all of God’s children, including those who might dress, look, speak, or just do things differently. It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient. Let us lift those around us. Let us extend a welcoming hand. Let us bestow upon our brothers and sisters in the Church a special measure of humanity, compassion, and charity so that they feel, at long last, they have finally found home.

We are all different. We are all individuals. I revel in the reality of our diversity. But I also celebrate the underlying similarities of our values, our goals and desires. Most of the people in the world, whatever their faith tradition, want to be happy, to be comfortable, to have friendship, to better themselves and to help better others.

Elder Uchtdorf also said in April 2012:

This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:
Stop it!
It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

Elder Uchtdorf’s advice could also be rephrased as: “Don’t judge me because I act differently than you… or because I dress differently, speak differently, live differently, work differently, vote differently, pray and worship differently.”

I’d like to share two experiences of learning the importance of not making judgement. Many years ago, serving a mission in Belgium, I was walking with my companion back to our apartment. Walking towards us in the opposite direction was a disheveled man. He wore dirty clothes and shoes that had so many holes they might as well have been three steps behind him. His beard and hair was messy and stretched down below his shoulders.

I felt a strong impression that I should speak to him. My instant reaction was, “don’t be silly, he’s probably homeless and will more likely than not ask you for money to feed his habit.” Again came the impression, as we drew closer, to speak to him. Again I rationalised it away, “he won’t be interested, the gospel’s not for people like him.” Finally as we were a few steps apart and about to cross, I stopped ignoring the nagging thought to speak to him and blurted out: “Bonjour monsieur, comment ca va?” He stopped and we started speaking. His name was Arthur. We asked if we could visit him later that day to share a message about Jesus Christ. He gave us his address and we went over later that day. Arthur accepted the gospel and was baptised within 4 weeks. The day before finishing my mission I heard that he was serving as the Branch Mission Leader. The story has a memorable ending, but even if his response to my initial greeting had been “non merci,” I hope it would still have reminded me to not judge by the outward appearance.

More recently, I was teaching a class at church. A man who I didn’t know sat in the corner quietly. He was wearing jeans, trainers and a hoody. He said very little during the lesson and I made some unreasonable assumptions.

Towards the end of the lesson I asked the class how the principles of the gospel positively affected their lives. He looked up and caught my eye so I invited him to share his thoughts. He said: “I was in prison not long ago. I had made some bad choices and deserved to be in there. When I got out I was determined to make my life better and to avoid the negative influences that had got me into bad situations the first time round. I’ve moved to another town and have been meeting with the missionaries. When they teach me I feel hope that I can change permanently. Coming to church helps me be with people who can be a positive influence.”

I felt humbled and a gently rebuked. This was a living example of the blessings of the gospel. The Gospel is uplifting and healing. We should accept people into our community and share the gospel with them whatever their background, experiences or appearance.

Elder Caussé’s advice on acceptance and welcoming the stranger concluded with the following:

“…reach out to anyone who appears at the doors of your Church buildings. Welcome them with gratitude and without prejudice. If people you do not know walk into one of your meetings, greet them warmly and invite them to sit with you. Please make the first move to help them feel welcome and loved, rather than waiting for them to come to you.
…During His earthly ministry, Jesus was an example of one who went far beyond the simple obligation of hospitality and tolerance. Those who were excluded from society, those who were rejected and considered to be impure by the self-righteous, were given His compassion and respect. They received an equal part of His teachings and ministry.  

For example, the Savior went against the established customs of His time to address the woman of Samaria, asking her for some water. He sat down to eat with publicans and tax collectors. He didn’t hesitate to approach the leper, to touch him and heal him. Admiring the faith of the Roman centurion, He said to the crowd, “Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.” 

…I bear witness that no one is a stranger to our Heavenly Father. There is no one whose soul is not precious to Him. With Peter, I testify that “God is no respecter of persons: but in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.”

The Saviour set the example with his compassion. How would it feel to be the recipient of the Saviour’s compassion, generosity, kindness and non-judgemental attitude? 

In Luke 5 we read the famous story about the man with the palsy being lowered through the roof. Because of the traditions of the day, some of the people in the house and perhaps the man himself would have made the assumption that his sickness was a punishment for his sins or the sins of his parents. Jesus turned to him and said: “Son, thy sins are forgiven thee.” He showed complete acceptance and the charity of seeing beyond the assumptions of the day. Considering this is what motivates me to try to apply these principles more consistently in my attitudes about others.

To conclude again with the words of Nephi in 2 Nep 26:33: 

(The Lord)… doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female… and all are alike unto God

Believe what you like, but keep it to yourself

I read this quote today and initially I liked it. The more I consider it however, the less it seems to work.

A member, at any given time, may not understand one point of doctrine or another, may have a misconception, or even believe something is true that in fact is false. 

There is not much danger in that. That is an inevitable part of learning the gospel. No member of the Church should be embarrassed at the need to repent of a false notion he might have believed. Such ideas are corrected as one grows in light and knowledge. 

It is not the belief in a false notion that is the problem; it is the teaching of it to others. In the Church we have the agency to believe whatever we want to believe about whatever we want to believe. But we are not authorized to teach it to others as truth."

Boyd K. Packer
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/04/from-such-turn-away?lang=eng&country=gb

I welcome the principle that an apostle is happy for members to "believe whatever we want to believe." But he seems to tell us to keep it to ourselves.

Tow the party line, keep silent, support the consensus.

I sat in testimony meeting today. I wanted to share my true beliefs about the nature of God, the nature of prophetic revelation and the role of the church within the great human family. I wanted to share the deep and meaningful experiences I'd had in coming to those conclusions. But I knew they would not be welcome. While other could teach things as principles of truth because they resonated with the attending majority, my minority perspective, that doesn't align with the correlated manuals and church teaching is not to be shared.

I still got up and made only vague references. I spoke of the positive experience of attending the temple, understanding the importance of developing a personal relationship with God and receiving answers in the temple to questions and concerns whose implications I had feared but afterwards felt complete peace about. I felt the love of God and the enrichment of the Saviour's atonement.

That message was welcome. People smiled and nodded and felt the affirmation of another person confirming what they were already convinced of. One or two people thanked me for my testimony after the meeting.

Had I given greater detail I wonder whether the same reaction would have happened? I could have said I was grateful for temple attendance and answered prayers because doing so had led me to, what I consider, a divinely guided conclusion that the church is not the "only true church." That when most prophets speak, they do not speak as if God were speaking. That they often, but not always, speak good and inspiring words influenced by their scriptures, their culture, their environment and the words of other leaders. That they are able to receive the same type of divine guidance anyone else does, but not an exclusive or special communication channel with the heavens. They see through the same glass darkly as we all do and that their teachings are coloured by that glass.

I could have said that I believe in a God cares how we treat each other and how we're trying to become more godlike, but does not care what we wear, what we eat and drink, what causes we give our time and money to or who we marry... as long as those chosen behaviours uplift us and others. I could have said that black or white, male or female, straight or gay are the same in God's eyes... God sees us all as equals and is happy for each to be treated as such. That there is truth found throughout cultures and philosophies and that our gospel "fullness" was only as full as our ability to be filled and that fulfillment (or full-filled-ment) could come from many sources.

All of that are things I believe and, apparently, Elder Packer is happy for me to believe that. He just doesn't want me to share it with others, even though I believe it to be true.

I tried to suggest to a Mormon friend recently that answers came to people in different ways. That some people, like my wife, could ask for Mormon answers for years and not receive a clear answer. That the Mormon description of God and life's purpose was not satisfying or useful for all of His children. That there are many answers that equally allow people to fulfill their purpose and potential. He was adamant I was wrong. He suggested that it was not the church that was lacking but that instead it was the person who was asking in the wrong way or was not living worthy to receive the answers. When I pointed out that he was describing my wife in that broad and condemning brush stroke he acknowledged he was.

My heart hurts and I continue to feel the gap between Mormonism and me to widen. Sitting in church today felt like an endurance, not an enlightenment. The hours I spent yesterday with family, followed by cycling through country lanes and nature's beauty was far more inspiring and uplifting than the hour of testimony meeting.

I've often talked of Mormonism being like a ship that needs gradual correction. That it's better to accept slow change, by degree in order to avoid the boat capsizing or people being people tipped over the side rails. Unfortunately the slow progress of church change, couple with the rapid pace of my shifting perspectives, means there might soon be another "man overboard." Not because of the jolt of hitting an iceberg, but voluntarily jumping to swim to another shore or passing vessel.